---

I can't apologize enough. Yet when I do say I'm sorry, it feels so...empty. Useless almost. I know that my friends and family and all who were still apart of my life during my addiction went on the rollercoaster with me, but part of me thinks they won't ever forgive me for that, no matter how much better I am, and will continue to be, doing.. :(

Some days I feel like this is all pointless. Like I'm fighting in a war that was presumed over right when it began. I feel like I should just say fuck it. On those days, I really miss my brother. I miss my innocence. I miss my friends, my family, I miss the old me - the happy, carefree, go get 'em me. I feel like a distant version of myself. From the outside, looking in.

I'm really going to miss it here.