Love is Just Another Four Letter Word

I wonder if you’d like me the same,
if you knew how many people fucked me over with their games
if you knew how many people I have the ability to blame
I am trying to stop, I’m trying to forgive and rewrite their wrongs into new songs
but no matter how hard I try it’s still been the same all along.
it’s all in the way you see things, it’s all in the way you bring things
into the mix, into the new potion, it’s all in a writers devotion
it’s fair enough for you to deny my notion, it’s fair enough for me to wanna dive into the ocean
head first off a cliff, one hundred fifty feet up, drippin’ like alcohol pouring out of a cup
you don’t need to be tough. never fear yourself when you feel like giving up.
it’s safe to say my emotions on the subject of love are a little fucking mixed,
since every relationship I’ve had has been so twisted and I got tricked
into doing so many ugly things I never wanted to do, they told me it was alright
smile baby girl, smile for the camera, please don’t put up a fight
and I’d cave every time, okay it’s all good, while deep inside I wanted to die
and I could never express myself properly, so I’d cry, and I’d cry
until I was filled with enough wisdom to write my pain into rhymes
they’d always ask what’s on your mind, little lady? Wanna share your story?
wanna let me in on what makes you think you’re good enough for glory?
how can I share my history with men who made me hate myself
how can I trust men who chose me specifically like a doll off a shelf?
all you ever wanted from me is the one thing I promised to keep for someone special
and you took it from me, you took important things and turned me into the devil
you took me to a place that was completely off my level
you drove me to hate myself and you drove me to terrorize my mind
so fucking afraid of letting anyone real inside
so when truthful men came into my life and wanted to treat me right
I was too timid and too scarred , so I’d always be flighty
remembering all the things the masked ones denied me
say something nice to me, tell me you love me, babe
and watch me turn my head and act like it’s just a phase, like you’re crazy
love is just another four letter word to me, as meaningless as anything else
the ice around my heart is too cold for any ordinary person to melt.
and I've put up these walls, with guards at every station outside my soul
not because I'm cold, but because I'm scared of the monsters bleeding me dry
I'm scared to lose the last pieces of me that it took so long to gain back...
Imagine that.