A Life Once Lost

Sometimes I feel like I don’t know where my life is going
I’ll try to rearrange my dismembered pieces but they just keep getting
tangled, twisted, and warped in my many different phases
one for each day of the week to suit my mood, the time and the place
yellow fluorescent lights make the base for a beautiful street atmosphere
but I can tell the worn out faces don’t belong here
as I’m walking from one alley to the next, putting my heart to the test
my feet are getting worn, but I’m only trying to find my place
in this crowd of deprived souls who all look the same
with nothing but the purring hum of my brittle bones
and the ticking time bomb that is my hear to guide me.
I open up like a summer flower to anyone willing to lend me their time
craving only to be loved and to see the sun truly shine
but my emotions are on hold, I’m growing older with each minute wasted
there really was never any turning back once I had a taste of it
each step seems to take forever, and my lies are wearing thin
my purity and morals can no longer over ride my urge to sin
it’s hard to keep my balance with the weight of the would upon my weary shoulders
it’s hard to warm my soul when every sleepless night causes me to get colder
the void in me always causes my imagination to wander, and so I sit and ponder
if it’s true what people say about forever, and things getting better
my explosive mind turns my dreams into nightmares, and my hope into a meteor
that comes crashing down on my day old hate, like day old fate.
I’ll leave this place with an unoccupied mind; I’ll be fine
the sympathetic smiles are getting old.