New Divides

She became numb to the reaction of old friends on the street, with her eyes glazed over
she’d walk silent and solemnly focus on her feet.
I know how it feels to be ashamed of who you are deep inside,
you put on a brilliant act for the world, and you hide. She grew up too quick,
too fast, scared of love’s clutching touch, any good feelings were just too much
she learned the rules of the game so out-of-the-blue suddenly,
and with her new found “friend” she forgot how to love me.
It’s so lovely, isn’t that always the story? This is addiction in its finest glory
now I’m not trying to justify any of our actions, but sometimes failure just so happens
she’s standing there so innocently yet her intentions are so hurtful
abandoning all ships, she gave up and isn’t truthful
I miss the days when we’d lay awake and it all just felt so right, the drugs didn’t make us fight
and now here we are and you say you’re so far gone ,
but I’m starting to believe you’ve been gone along
she smiles and her eyes are just so fucking empty, looks at me and cries, like she resents me
I’m nowhere near perfect and never stated to be, but at least my heart is pure
at least I have some motivation to still be here
I don’t mean to sound rude but I’m speaking the truth
take a step back and look at your life – do you need more proof?
no self-respect, girl you’d trade your life for a dime – I hate to ask how you are ‘cause it’s always a lie
yet she’s so beautiful and has a smile that will capture your heart
then use you for all your worth and fucking tear it apart
it’s time to let go, because I can’t keep chasing false fate – I can’t stick around and pretend I relate
it’s so unusual, the way things end up, and how fast it all changes
you sunk further into the sand while for once I became courageous
and right now I have nothing left to say, other than this is chaos
there’s no one but ourselves out there to save us.
so I’m saying I have loved you, the good parts of you – not the fake emotions I can see through
I know how it feels to be on the verge of becoming insane
I can only hope and pray life means enough to you for you to change
I’ve been on this path of my own for five whole years
destroying myself, oblivious to love, always chasing away my tears
now I want to better my life and become a new person
move on from past mistakes and consider this a learned lesson
you were my best friend and I know you’re starting to hate me
that’s why I’m leaving before you change your mind and start to chase me
and there are so many things I still want to share with you before I go
but maybe it’s best if some things you just don’t know
I’m calling this my new divide, no longer wasting my precious time
when I could be happy and not live with my sanity on the line
fuck you because I loved you, and this is so hard on me
but easy on you because there’s so much you choose not to see.
Maybe someday down the road you can learn to be happy,
you can live your life knowing what it's like to be free
just keep this thought in the back of your mind at all times : you HAD me.