Don't Give Up

I remember sunny days as a child, with my hair blowing in the wind
Dreams of saving the world, loved dressing up to play pretend
Always had a smile on my face because tears weren’t in my nature
never for a minute did I think I’d grow up to be a different creature
Had a bad habit of choosing the wrong crowds when my social skills developed
even though the puppy in the mirror still hadn’t much evolved
it’s too easy to go around experimenting and soon become enveloped
who knew daddy’s little princess would grow up and still feel so small
addiction must have been bred into my blood stream
because when I turned fourteen I was getting familiar with the scene
I could really say with a straight face, man I sure wanna place some blame
it must just be genetically warped cells that causes the insane
Taking responsibility is one of my biggest flaws, I just can’t seem to grasp it
falling for the abuse, I keep going back, whose fault is that?
or breaking these hearts, the promises and lies, can I blame that on genetics?
can I chase some dragons in the wind and say it’s the earth’s magnetics?
I’m flawFULL, not flawless, trying to muster the strength to make some progress
every time I run back to the same situations, always setting myself up for failure
six years seems like an eternity, a whole box of Crayola’s couldn’t draw this mess
I do admit I have a problem, and I’m pushing people away, this I’m aware of
I’m my own worst enemy, I have a knack for destroying the love
it’s not that I like to be alone, in fact that’s my biggest fear,
I just want it to be easier on the few who truly knew me when I leave here.
My vulnerability and trusting nature is what gets me into trouble
surrounded by addicts and fiends doesn’t count as friends, they enjoy my struggle
Sometimes I try to do my own thing and I get scared, end up feeling trapped
I’ll just write my rhymes and pray for the childhood innocence to come back
I give my all and most of the time they don’t deserve, leaving me nothing left
except a box filled with old poetry, and the never ending beats in my head.