The Way God Made Me

There’s not too many people who actually wanna get to know me
cause they can sense in my steps that I’m better off lonely
but there is this one person who wants to try and save me, and hold me
there’s so much love she wants to be able to show me
and I’m so self destructive I keep fucking it up with my words and actions
I am to blame for the constant division of our fractions
we have a lot of time on our hands, that’s what you need in order to fix this unsheltered girl
but if you’re willing to get down and dirty come and give it a whirl
I’m used to fighting tooth and nail with myself inside my head
walking with my eyes glued to the ground and silhouettes of shoes filled with lead
I’m so impatient with my recovery because I want it all right now
I can’t stand to step back and just be another face in the empty crowd
but there is only so much music that broken instruments will allow
sometimes I’m angry for no reason and every sound is much too loud
but I won’t admit it to the doctors, my spirit is much too proud
like, should I really be ashamed if I need a little extra help?
too bad, I’m too selfish to attempt to share my knowledge, my wealth
my up and down emotions are the key to my creativity
and that’s the ingredient that only those close to me can see
like a yo-yo on a string, all over the place and severely out of whack
grinding my teeth and digging at my skin whenever I want to attack
I know I have come much too far to let myself go back, go back to that
I can only pray the road remains clear for what’s left of my years
and if it doesn’t, that’s just more reason for me to be here
she loves me like I’m something amazing, I see myself as a mere demon
not knowing how to react because I’m so used to leaving them
maybe it’s time to open up my eyes and see what’s been in front of me for almost a year now
open up my heart and stop being so afraid of the glow
let her teach me what I have yet to know, and embrace the flow
I’m good at piecing together beautiful words that weigh heavy like lingering secrets
powerful souls don’t mix well with the weaklings
the sun shines bright on my face everyday, so why can’t I smile?
at the end of the working day, I’m just another name in their files..
aren’t we all like that? Don’t we all just wanna find our place?
talk is cheap though, and we’re all bound by our mistakes
pour another drink in my glass, time is going by much too fast
let’s talk now about raising the stakes, maybe if you’re lucky I will fill you in on your fate
please just love me, that’s all I’m asking for baby
I know at times I can be a little unbearably crazy
but you can’t blame the sinner, oh no you cannot - I’m only the way god made me