Heroes and Villains

My mother raised me to believe that we are all pretty equal
but I found out through my journeys that some are full of evil
looking down at us like gargoyles atop broken church steeples
just waiting and praying for someone to come and stick the needle
you may think that my words seem a little unbelievable
you may doubt that I actually want to live a life of achievements
maybe it’s true, shit, my life has been full of grieve able situations
that tampered with my being and caused me to lose my patience
I’ve been to hospitals, they all smell the same, with sickly looking patients
I’ve spent nights running from the world, kingpin at chasing pavements
I have also tried to figure out the meaning of gaining retribution
but my demented thoughts have not found a plausible solution
on how to face the music, on how to find true balance and not lose it
I walk the streets like I know this place like the back of my hand
these people stare at me like they think they fucking understand
they don’t know the category of the earthquake about to crack inside me
but they continue to smile and try to love me, and lie to me
I guess that’s their own form of trying to help someone, that’s their own form of feeling better
about not knowing what to do about this addict that stands in front of them
too many days I’ve spent timing the weather, waiting for the sun to come out
counting the moments until the same night’s sunset
perfectly fluctuating my movements with those of the clouds; torn with every single regret
with every moment I have ever spent, wasting myself away
destroying the good things that could have come with every day
wasting away with those same gargoyles that kept my spirit under lock and key
those same people that taught me that addiction is okay
those same villains that showed me the wrong way to pray
those same heroes that tried to rewrite their wrongs and show me the right way.
and I can’t say I ever did listen, until it was all just too much to bear
I can’t say I ever gave a shit until the only option left was to learn to care,
"pick yourself up little mama, get the fuck out of the hole of despair
pack your shit and sneak out from under the chains of the dragons lair
before it’s too late and we won’t ever see you again
before all these pretty faces lose another friend."