Demonolgy

I’ve been defeated, well doesn’t that just sound so therapeutic
nothing comes as tragic when your blood is so diluted
by mixed messages from your soul, brain so polluted, just lose it
playing in traffic just to get a thrill, down another pill little lady just chill
my emotions weigh me down and made it hard for me to cope
that’s the main reason I turned to coke and dope, no time to choke
everyone sees me as a fuckin joke, bro, what’s with that?
like I care, let’s get fucked up beyond the point of coming back
my days used to be filled with laughter and recognition
now I’m so silently tuned into my condition of finding ways to destroy all good things given
at least I have something to keep me occupied at night
when the devil wants to battle, and I always forfeit the fight
that’s just the narcissist in me talking again, her grip gets stronger the harder I try to pretend
that I actually have control inside of my own fuckin head
I considered myself a believer until the creator took my brother
left me alone in the world and so I set out to try and rebel against my mother
I was wrong thinking god’s work was always so subtle
now here I am and my struggle is doubling, because I’m attracted to what they see as troubling.
it’s like I’m possessed by a monster, filled with black cancer
and this other side of me only has one intention when she’s up there dancing
to completely destroy me while I’m on the never ending search for perfection, and freedom
everyone left me when they saw how gone I really was, can’t say I ever did need them
learned to fuck around and leave them before they could see my game
every time they saw through my lies the result was the same
but I escaped before they could point fingers and blame me
I’ve always been the one in classes to ask a million questions
since I seem to know the truth before the answers come out, and I put up objections
never really been too good at confessions, though, I always beat around the bush
need that extra little push to be reminded that I’m not that person any more
time to close the cage, lock the dungeon, see what’s behind this new door
I have always warned people to beware of things they really cannot see
when honestly they surely should only be afraid of me.